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RATHER THAN RUINING THE GOOD TIMES, JUST REMEMBER:
The Month After Christmas
Twas the month after Christmas all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So -- away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie -- not even a lick.
I'll only chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore-
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
God's Warrior
Christmas Tongue Twisters
Can you say these three times... fast?
*Seven Santas sang silly songs.
*Santa's sleigh slides on slick snow.
*Bobby brings bright bells.
*Running reindeer romp 'round red wreaths.
*Tiny Timmy trims the tall tree with tinsel.
*Chilly chipper children cheerfully chant.
*Two trains travel together to Toyland.
*Eleven elves licked eleven little licorice lollipops.
*Santa's sack sags slightly.
*Ten tiny tin trains toot ten times.
*Santa stuffs Stephie's striped stocking.
*Comet cuddles cute Christmas kittens carefully.
